that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
