I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
