I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
