yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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