all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
