did you get engaged???
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is that strawberry winking at me??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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