yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
