Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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