my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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