I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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