If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
