Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
