he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
