PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize