whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
