She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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