It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
