Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I got inside last night via doggy door
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
