Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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