If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
