you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
