Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
