I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
