I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
