why didn't you poke me back
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
NoShamevember. You game?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
