ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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