You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
