Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
