Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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