Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize