Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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