One girl and one boy is just not enough.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
