He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
