dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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