So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's official drugs can't kill me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
