if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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