last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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