i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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