Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
