C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
