I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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