the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
