You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Panties = found
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
