Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
