she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
