A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
