he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
