we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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