I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
