peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She announced her abortion via fbk
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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